


We All Die In Different Ways

by Myoneloveismusic



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU
Genre: Assisted Suicide, Bad Ending, M/M, No happiness here, Suicide Attempt, last day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2019-06-18 11:40:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15484965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Myoneloveismusic/pseuds/Myoneloveismusic
Summary: After Tim felt he'd lost virtually everything, there was nothing left for him. Even when some of the people he cared about had made their return, he still felt hollow and empty. He'd made a resolution. He wanted it to end and he was hoping Jason could help him do it.





	We All Die In Different Ways

**Author's Note:**

> This is the giveaway fic for my 600 followers giveaway! I'm super happy to share this with everyone finally and even though it's sad, I do hope that you enjoy it! 
> 
> <3 MOLIM

_Kon flashed a smile. “Don’t worry, man. We’ll see each other again soon. I just gotta take care of something first.”_

_“I’m sorry, Tim, but I had to go. I couldn’t stay around here anymore,” Steph sighed. “You wouldn’t understand what I was feeling or going through. It was something I had to do on my own.”_

_“Just let it go, Tim! There’s nothing you can do. He’s gone and he’s never coming back,” Dick said, voice steel and barely concealing his bubbling emotions._

Each word rung out inside of Tim’s head as he trudged along the sidewalk. His world had been becoming nothing but darker and greyer as everything built up. Kon was dead. His best friend gone. Stephanie had lied to him for months and given him nothing when he was crashing into a spiral. Bruce had gone missing and Tim was adamant it had _just been missing_ even though everyone claimed he was dead and Dick hadn’t listened to any of his pleas.

He was alone. There was nothing left for him and even now that Bruce was back and alive and well…there was nothing for him. The world kept getting darker and he didn’t want to live or experience it anymore. He wanted to free himself and leave it all behind for something better.

His feet were heavy on each step inside the apartment building. He didn’t bother with the fire escape and didn’t care about concealing his presence. As far as he knew, no one was going to give two shits about him anyway and wouldn’t look at him anymore than if he was just a fly on the wall. But maybe not even then, because they probably wouldn’t care enough to swat at him and force him to leave.

Tim slowed to a stop in front of the dingy and chipped wooden door. The brass number six on the door was crooked and hadn’t been cleaned in a long time. He raised his hand and rapped three times. He didn’t hear anyone moving around inside, but he knew he wouldn’t.

The door pulled open to reveal Jason standing there, frowning at him. “Did you need something?” he asked.

“I have a favor to ask.”

Jason nodded and stepped to the side. “Sure,” he said.

Tim trudged inside. Things had gotten better between them over the years, but they weren’t exactly close. Tim had…a special place in his heart for him, but he was sure Jason didn’t hold anything for him and if he accepted the deal, Tim would know how little he really cared.

“What did you need?” Jason asked. “Tips for a case? Backup on a bust?”

Tim shook his head. “I want you to kill me.”

Jason’s eyes widened, and he took a step back. “What?”

“I’m so tired of everything. I feel so empty and alone. There’s nothing left for me and I want it all to just end.”

“Tim, you can’t really think-“

“Please,” Tim whispered. “I’m so tired and I can’t keep living like this.”

“There has to be something…” Jason said weakly.

“There’s nothing, Jason,” Tim said. “Do this one thing for me. After everything that’s happened. After everything that’s happened between us. Give me this one thing.”

“How about-“ he stopped and took a shaky breath. “How about this? Let me try and give you the best day of your life. And if you realize there’s something worth living for, you’ll give up on this idea of having me kill you. And if I fail…then I’ll kill you. But you’ll at least have lived through the best last day of your life.”

Tim looked at him, thinking over the proposal. “Okay,” he finally agreed. “You have until sunset.”

Jason nodded, looking a little green. “Let me…let me go get something from my stash and we can get going.”

Tim nodded.

Jason disappeared down the hallway to his bedroom. Tim heard several things being moved around and when he returned, there didn’t look to be anything else on him.

“What did you get?” he asked, confused.

“What I’ll need if I fail today.”

Tim nodded and looked down at his shoes. He let out a breath. “Shall we get going, then? We have a lot of stuff to do.”

Jason cleared his throat and squared his shoulders, almost looking like he was getting ready to take on the entire Underworld of Gotham. “Yeah, we can take my bike.”

Tim followed him out of his apartment and down to the garage. They climbed on his bike, Tim holding tightly as they roared out of the garage and onto the street. Tim looked around as they rode, watching the buildings whizz by as they turned down different streets of Gotham, weaving through the traffic effortlessly.

The sun was shining for once, the smog seemingly reduced by an unrealistic amount as a cool breeze slipped between the buildings. They slowed as they turned another corner, approaching a building with a red and white checkered awning above a large glass window.

“Pizza?” Tim asked as they climbed off the bike.

“Yup,” Jason said, pulling him by the hand through the door, a bell rung over their heads as they entered.

“Have a seat wherever!” a server called from one of the few tables with patrons.

Jason pulled Tim towards the back and they slipped into a booth. “We’re going to stuff ourselves with pizza,” he said seriously. He pulled one menu from the stand and set it in front of himself. When Tim tried to reach for one, he swatted his hand away. “Now, what kind of pizza do you like?”

“Meat and veggies,” Tim answered easily.

Jason grinned. “Good, then I know exactly what to order.”

“What can I get for you two?” a worker asked, a little too breathlessly as they popped up next to their table.

“Two cokes and a supreme deep-dish pizza,” Jason answered, tossing the menu back in the stand.

“Coming right up!” they said, scribbling something down on a ticket before disappearing into the back.

“Deep-dish?” Tim asked.

“Best deep-dish in Gotham,” Jason said with a nod.

“Are you sure about that?” he asked with a smirk.

Jason raised an eyebrow and leaned over the table, looking serious. “I’ve scoured every inch of every pizza parlor this dirty and grime-filled city has to offer and I can _guarantee_ this is going to be the best pizza you’ve ever had.”

Tim smiled. “If it’s not, I’m going to be very disappointed.”

Jason glanced to the side and grinned. “I guess you’re about to find out…”

Their server returned, setting a huge pan in the center of the table. Steam rose from the still bubbling cheese and Tim’s mouth immediately started to water.

“Enjoy!” their server said before disappearing to tend to the other customers.

“Oh my god,” Tim muttered, staring at the huge pie in front of him.

“And you haven’t even tried it yet,” Jason said smugly. He unstacked the two plates that had been left for them and plopped a slice of pizza on both of their plates. Sauce, meat, and cheese spilled over the side onto the plate and Tim swallowed.

Jason unwrapped his silverware napkin and pulled out the fork.

“You’re eating with silverware?” Tim asked.

He raised an eyebrow. “If you want to try and handle that without spilling it all over your hands and shirt then be my guest. I’ve learned my lesson.”

Tim nodded and followed Jason’s lead. He broke off a bite of the steaming pizza and blew on it. The steam dissipated slightly, and he wrapped his lips around the bite. He groaned as the taste hit his tongue.

Jason grinned. “I told you this was the best pizza in Gotham.”

“You’re right,” Tim said, cutting off another bite. “I take back everything. I take back everything I said. You were so right. So right. This is just…” he trailed off and took another bite, leaning back against the booth as the food hit his stomach. “Jason, this-“

“Shh,” he said, cutting him off. He pushed his plate closer. “No words right now. Just eat.”

Tim nodded and went back to eating, quickly finishing off his first piece before he grabbed another.

~~

The pizza disappeared faster than Tim would’ve expected and somehow, they managed to eat everything in the pan. Normally, Tim would’ve barely been able to manage a slice or two.

Jason left several bills on the table to pay and pulled Tim out of the parlor and back onto his bike.

“Where to now?” Tim asked as they pulled away from the curb.

“The beach!” he said brightly.

“But I don’t have my swim trunks!”

“Who cares?” Jason called, chuckling in the wind. “It doesn’t matter if you have them or not. The sea and the sand are the only things we need.”

Tim grinned, holding on tightly as they wove through traffic towards the outskirts of Gotham. The larger buildings fell away, and the sounds of the city became muted. The crashing waves greeted them as they pulled off the main road towards one of the parking lots that had a few cars parked in it.

Jason slowed and rolled his bike into a parking space, killing the engine. He prodded Tim off the bike with a grin. He kicked off his shoes, storing them under the bike seat and Tim did the same.

“Come on,” he said, taking Tim’s hand and pulling him over the curb of the parking lot and into the stand. It was warm under their feet and could’ve been unbearably hot on the soles of their feet if it was any other day.

Tim sucked in a breath when Jason sprinted forward, pulling him along as their feet kicked up sand. Tim nearly stumbled when the soft, dry sand changed to the thickly packed, sea softened grains. Jason stopped, pulling Tim up next to him as the next wave crashed in around their ankles.

Tim shivered at the change in temperature and Jason squeezed his hand.

“When was the last time you were at the beach?” he murmured.

Tim closed his eyes, listening to the seagulls call to each other. He inhaled, drawing in the smell of salt and sand. “I don’t know,” he said. “I don’t even remember the last time I took a vacation.”

“Well now’s a perfect time as any,” Jason said. He pulled Tim forward, further into the waves as they crashed around their calves, then their knees, and thighs until the water was around their waists.

Tim shivered, his shorts and shirt plastered to him. “This is insane!” he cried.

Jason grinned. “You could use a little insane!” He took both of Tim’s hands and walked backwards into the cool water.

Tim smiled back, laughing high and clear for the first time in he didn’t know how long. He saw a wave roll up behind Jason and closed his eyes, bracing himself as it washed around them, water splashed into his face and wet his hair.

He pulled out of Jason’s grasp and shoved a handful of water at Jason, splashing him in the face.

“Why you!” Jason started.

Tim grinned and fought to get to shallow water. It was strange having the water restrict his movements, but it wasn’t bad. Maybe he was used to things being a little too easy. And if someone had asked him that a couple weeks ago he would’ve scoffed that there wasn’t anything worse than losing or being lied to by everyone he cared about.

He made it to shallow water before Jason did and sprinted through the waves, keeping his knees high to move as fast as he could.

“Get back here!” Jason called.

He looked over his shoulder, eyes widening when he saw how quickly Jason was closing the distance between them. He hit the wet sand, breaking out of the water. His clothes stuck to him, water running down his legs from how soaked they were.

Arms wrapped around his stomach and lifted him, spinning him around.

“Jason!” Tim cried.

Jason chuckled above his head, keeping a tight grip on him. He slowed and set him back on his feet, keeping him close. Tim wiggled in his hold, fighting for some way to break free, but Jason’s grip didn’t relent.

“Let go,” Tim whined, trying to find some way to get a small nerve strike in.

“Nope,” Jason grinned. “I’m gonna keep you right here.”

Tim’s eyes shone with glee when he managed to work one of his hands up and hit a pressure point on Jason’s arm.

“Ow, ow, ow, Tim!” he said, arms going limp as he tried to free himself.

Tim cackled and let go, sprinting off down the beach as Jason chased him again, intent on throwing him back in the water.

~~

The sun was low in the sky by the time they were finished at the beach. Tim’s hair was mussed, his clothes covered in sand and seawater from running up and down the beach and fighting in the ocean with Jason.

“Let’s go,” Jason said. “I’ve got something else I want us to do.”

“Okay,” Tim said.

They climbed onto Jason’s bike and pulled out of the parking lot, taking to the empty road that led away from Gotham. Jason gave no attention to the lanes on the highway, instead riding down the middle of the stretch of road. The wind tore at their clothes as the sky gradually turned to a light orange.

Tim leaned his head back and closed his eyes, tilting his face to the sky as he listened to the roar of the wind and the bike on the road. The calls of birds and seagulls met his ears and the crashing waves followed them, almost as though they were trying to call them back to the beach.

Jason leaned forward, pulling Tim back to where they were. “Hold on,” he called over his shoulder.

Tim moved closer, pressing his chest against Jason’s back as Jason revved the bike and sped up. Tim was torn between letting his eyes slide shut and watching the landscape whip past them but found he couldn’t stop from staring ahead.

Jason’s hair whipped against his forehead, the white strands blowing back forth in the wind. Tim’s eyes glanced down over Jason’s darker features. His skin shining from the dried bits of salt and sand stuck to his skin.

Tim felt a stab of longing. It wasn’t something he’d experienced in a long time. Perhaps there was a part of his mind or his soul that still had hope for the world or hope for something to come from his life.

But from his experience, he knew that hope and desire were no guarantee as to what he would be given or awarded in life.

They leaned the bike around a curve, a wall of rock and stone on one side and the ocean on the other. They followed the road around until they climbed a small hill, pulling off to the side at the top. Jason climbed off and pulled Tim across the road to the cliff that overhung the water.

The sun was dipping close to the horizon, lighting the sky and the water like a blazing fire. Jason took Tim’s hand in his and stared out at the setting sun.

“So, have I convinced you?” he asked. “Have I shown you what there is to live for?”

Tim smiled, eyes fixed on the horizon and the beautiful image in front of them. “I enjoyed today,” he said. “It was fun, and you helped me have fun again.”

“So, does this mean you’ll stay?” Jason asked, turning to face him.

Tim looked at him, eyes open and sad. There was nothing left to hide anymore. He had no reason to keep his pain and emotion under wraps. He shook his head and he watched Jason’s face crumple.

“You helped me have fun today,” Tim said. “But, there’s nothing left for me here. Now--even more than before--I know I’m ready for this. I’m ready to put it to an end.”

Jason let out a breath. He started forward and hesitated. He cupped Tim’s cheek and rubbed his thumb along the soft skin, staring into his eyes before he ducked his head and brought their lips together.

Tim stilled, but kissed back after a moment. It was soft and caring. There was no desperation. Tim had imagined what it would feel like to kiss Jason so many times and this was still better than anything he could’ve managed to come up with himself.

“Is that enough?” Jason asked, searching his eyes that were slow to flutter open after the kiss. “Is that enough to get you to stay?”

Tim wanted to believe it would be enough. That the kiss would signal something greater and his life would turn around and be better than ever before. But after everything else he’d been through, he knew that no matter what Jason promised or said in this moment, he would leave him alone in the end and Tim would be back where he was right then.

“It would only delay the inevitable, Jason,” he murmured.

Jason’s breath left him in a rush and he closed his eyes, nodding as though it pained him. “Okay,” he said. “Okay.” He sniffed. “Do you…do you want to have a seat and we can do this?”

They sat down at the edge of the cliff, Jason keeping his arms around Tim as their eyes focused on the sunset. Jason pulled the small vial he’d grabbed earlier from his pocket and held it out to Tim.

“Drink this. Should be a painless and gentle end, just like the sunset.”

Tim smiled, slim fingers wrapping around the vial. “I like that,” he murmured. He pulled the cap off the vial and held it up to the sun. “Cheers,” he said, before tilting it back and swallowing it down.

“I’m going to miss you, Tim,” Jason said behind him.

“You’ll be okay,” Tim said, feeling a sleepy warmth spread through his limbs. “You’re strong. Stronger than me.”

“I don’t think I am,” he whispered.

Tim nodded sluggishly, eyes heavy. “You are,” he sighed. “You beat death. Something I could never do…”

Jason tightened his grip on Tim as he trailed off. His vision blurred, and he sniffed as the first tear trailed down his cheek.

“Tim?” he asked.

He didn’t get a response and hunched forward, clutching at Tim’s body as sobs wracked his own.

“I love you, Tim,” he gasped. “I’ll always love you.”

Tim’s heart stayed silent, his body slowly growing cold as night descended.

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback, comments, and kudos are greatly appreciated. 
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](my-one-love-is-music.tumblr.com) and [Twitter](twitter.com/m_o_l_i_m)


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